So shouting comes naturally and losing your cool is just part of who you are? Sound familiar?
Don’t make excuses, learn the skills and work on dealing with confrontations.
It is important that you express yourself assertively and calmly when dealing with difficult confrontations.
If you find yourself in a discussion that is heating up quite quickly, remember the following:
- People have different opinions and it’s OK. Try to respect that.
- Make clear statements using phrases like “I feel angry with you because…”
- Explain your expectations of the outcomes of the discussion clearly.
- Research some calming techniques that work for you, you can use to calm yourself during an intense discussion. Do not lose your cool. Sometimes the mere technique of breathing helps calm the anger.
- You have to listen too. Don’t be irritated, annoyed or impatient. You will only aggravate the situation. Rather remain calm, listen to the other person and try to see it through their eyes.
- Most of the time it is better to take things lightly. Don’t take everything personally. People say things out of anger that they don’t mean. They are quick to jump to conclusions and most of the time strike back with hurtful comments, because they themselves felt attacked and upset.
The important part of a heated confrontation is that it is not left high and dry. Sorting out these types of discussions are very important otherwise anger will build up which will likely turn into resentment, causing even more anger. Rather sort out the situation early, so that anger build ups don’t develop into a serious problem in future.
Anger is a natural human emotion which might also result from feelings of being forced to change. Everyone gets angry and all of us experience anger at many stages during our lives. The key is to deal with it in an effective manner and not leave it to build up. Negative confrontations should be transformed into positive outcomes.
There are a lot of valid reasons to be or to get angry. In managing anger try applying these principles that enable us to remain in control:
- Acknowledge your anger
- Identify the true source and reason for your anger
- Don’t react – just act
- Keep yourself in control
- You have the power to walk away and you should use it if need be
- Review and rethink everything you put on documents or emails – especially when you are angry.
- Sometimes leave things to marinate. Often the next day, your response will be more subtle and relaxed.
These are just a few tips from The Mindspa Institute’s side. We are specialists in skills development for Management Training, Leadership Development, Office Professional and Secretary Training. The greatest gap in the world is between “knowing” and “doing” so all our training workshops and interventions focus on bridging that gap through interacting with the business, its management and employees, enabling them to take the lessons and practically implement the changes in their work and personal lives.
Our training courses are carefully researched to ensure they are relevant to the South African reality. Our training consultants are specialists in their particular fields and this gives them insight into delegate needs as well as knowledge about actual trends in the market.
While Management Training remains a key focus, we offer a variety of different public training courses, in a variety of business fields, around the country. Our training material is developed in-house and therefore, we can customise training manuals to include your branding, mission vision and values statement - exclusive to in-house training. The Mindspa Institute Training Company is accredited by the Services Seta and Merseta.
For more information please visit our website www.themindspa.co.za or email [email protected] .